Yo.

Y’all learned divisibility (what counting numbers* go into other counting numbers) when you were in 4th grade.  I learned it when I was 3, because I’M A PIMP.  Here’s what I was taught by  my math tutor, Mr. Sadowitz:

All counting numbers are divisible by 1.  35; 1,902; and 1,423,876 are all divisible by 1.

All even (ending in 0,2,4,6,8) counting numbers are divisible by 2.  48 and 160?  Dem bitches is divisible by 2.

If the sum of the digits of a counting number yields a multiple of 3, then that counting number is divisible by 3.  456 is divisible by 3; 4+5+6=15, and 15 is a multiple of 3.  (Still unsure about 15?  Well, 1+5=6, which is also a multiple of 3.  Still unsure?  Go unfuck yourself.)

If the last two digits of your counting number form a multiple of 4, then that counting number is divisible by 4.  1016 is divisible by 4, because 4 goes into 16.  Incidentally, 16 is how old I was when I first got a booty call from your mom.

If your number ends in 0 or 5, then it’s divisible by 5.  15 and 3,450 both work.  39 and the word “jangles” don’t work, because 39 ends in a 9 and “jangles” isn’t a goddamn number.

If your number satisfies the rules for both 2 and 3 given above, then it’s divisible by 6.  294 works because it’s even (rule for 2) and 2+9+4=15, which is divisible by 3 (rule for 3).  Also, 294 is the room your mom stays in at the Radisson when I come into town.  She uses the alias “Boobies McCockintush”.

According to Mr. Sadowitz, there is no rule for 7.  Mr. Sadowitz was dead-ass wrong about this, so it’s hard to believe that he was allowed to teach children.  Maybe he knew the rule but thought it was too hard?  Or cumbersome?  Anyway, that was fucked up, Sado.  More on this in a later post.

If the last three digits of your number form a multiple of 8, then your number is divisible by 8.  34,837,800 works because 800 is divisible by 8.  BTDubs, 34,837,800 is the number of dollars I’m being paid to write this post, so if you’re wondering how yo momma got that fat Cubic Z on her necklace, wonder no fucking further.

If the sum of your number’s digits is a multiple of nine, then your number is divisible by 9.  123,456,789 works, because 1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9=45, and 45 is divisible by 9.  (Unsure?  Well, the 4 and 5 of 45 add up to 9, which is clearly a multiple of 9.  Still unsure?  Suck a chicken dick.)

Finally, if your number is greater than 9 and ends in a 0, then your number is divisible by 10.  770, 90, and 840 all work.  Honestly, if you can’t get this one, I don’t think I can do anything for you.  Check this website instead.

Dolla dolla dolla billz y’all.

*counting numbers are the numbers you use to fucking count.  1,2,3,4,5,…ZERO AIN’T INCLUDED.