Shit You Should Know

Y'all motherfuckers don't know a lot of shit

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To whom are you addressing this shit?

Who vs. Whom.  It’s a fucking pronoun battle for the ages.

Here’s the (slightly involved) deal: Who acts as a subject (the motherfucker doing some shit), while Whom acts as an object (the motherfucker having shit done to him).  For most people the subject/object distinction is a tricky one, because “subject” and “object” sound like technical grammar jargon.  Chill.  Here are some samples in which I’ve bolded the subjects and italicized the objects:

  1. The weathermen predict clear skies.  
  2. I packed up my bathing suit.  
  3. If I see a fucking raincloud, I will find a weatherman and I will kick his dick inside-out.

In sentence one, the weathermen (subject) predict (do the action), while the clear skies (object) are predicted (receive the action).

In sentence two, I (subject) do the action, while my bathing suit receives the action.

And so on.

  1. Who predicted clear skies?
  2. Who packed up my bathing suit?
  3. If you see a raincloud, whom will you kick in the dick?

Do you have to know that distinction to properly use Who and Whom?  No, you lazy shit-bar.  Here’s the trick Mrs. Roberts taught me in 5th grade:

Method:

To determine proper usage of who/whom, separate the who/whom clause and pose it as a question.  If that question can be answered with “he”, use “who”; if it can be answered with “him”, use “whom”.

Examples:

Who/whom ate my goddamn latkes and applefuckingsauce?  (HE did.  Use Who.)

Who/whom would you trust to hide your Lord of the Rings dildo collection?  (I would trust HIM.  Use Whom.)

Just invested some of that blog cash in CapitalSource, mothafukkaz.  Look who avoided risky lending practices, bee-atch.  BIG PIMPIN.


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    Who と whom、どっちを使えばいいかの判別方法。なるほど、疑問文の答えが主語になるなら who、目的語になるなら whom なのね。 それにしても見事やわー。 fucking の使い方が見事やわー。
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