Who vs. Whom. It’s a fucking pronoun battle for the ages.
Here’s the (slightly involved) deal: Who acts as a subject (the motherfucker doing some shit), while Whom acts as an object (the motherfucker having shit done to him). For most people the subject/object distinction is a tricky one, because “subject” and “object” sound like technical grammar jargon. Chill. Here are some samples in which I’ve bolded the subjects and italicized the objects:
- The weathermen predict clear skies.
- I packed up my bathing suit.
- If I see a fucking raincloud, I will find a weatherman and I will kick his dick inside-out.
In sentence one, the weathermen (subject) predict (do the action), while the clear skies (object) are predicted (receive the action).
In sentence two, I (subject) do the action, while my bathing suit receives the action.
And so on.
- Who predicted clear skies?
- Who packed up my bathing suit?
- If you see a raincloud, whom will you kick in the dick?
Do you have to know that distinction to properly use Who and Whom? No, you lazy shit-bar. Here’s the trick Mrs. Roberts taught me in 5th grade:
To determine proper usage of who/whom, separate the who/whom clause and pose it as a question. If that question can be answered with “he”, use “who”; if it can be answered with “him”, use “whom”.
Who/whom ate my goddamn latkes and applefuckingsauce? (HE did. Use Who.)
Who/whom would you trust to hide your Lord of the Rings dildo collection? (I would trust HIM. Use Whom.)
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