Chill out with this shit.

The pronoun “I” has somehow acquired an air of fanciness, and now motherfuckers are throwing it into every fucking sentence.  For example, the title of this post is all kinds of fucked up.  Though there are scads of ways in which we commonly ass-ram this particular problem, I’d like to focus on one in particular.

Rule:

When paired with another noun or pronoun, the proper first person singular pronoun (I/me) can be determined by replacing the pair of nouns with “we” and “us”.  If “we” sounds better, use “I”.  If “us” sounds better, use “me”.

Example:

Fabrizia (calling her boyfriend): Hey, you sexy panda.  Let’s go buy a can of Silly String with the $50 that Uncle Bingo gave to you and (I/me).

What would we say here?  ”Gave to we” or “Gave to us”?  ”Gave to us” sounds better, right?  Choose “me”.

Correct:

Let’s go buy a can of Silly String with the $50 that Uncle Bingo gave to you and me.

Another fucking example:

A Panda (calling his girlfriend): Whaddup girl.  My man Chino and (I/me) already blew that $50 on Gobstoppers and vibrating condoms.  My b.

What would we say here?  ”We blew that $50” or “Us blew that $50”?  ”We blew that $50” sounds better, right?  Choose “I”.

Correct:

My man Chino and I already blew that $50 on Gobstoppers and vibrating condoms.

Hope that makes some sense.  Gonna try to be a little less grammar-centric up in this bitch for a minute.  Next few posts on other subjects. 

Outta here like Vladimir.